Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
