Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
