Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
