I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Its about making memories worth repressing
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
