Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
sex in a hospital.. check
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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