Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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