Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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