Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
