I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
