I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
that is very illegal...i love you.
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