I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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