Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
