you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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