I think I won the penis lottery.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
