Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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