His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
pray to the hookup gods
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
