i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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