U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
