i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
