just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize