So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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