Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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