lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
