ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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