Her vagina should come with caution tape.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
