don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
