You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
your room smells of hookers.
And success
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize