just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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