shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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