Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
