so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
