So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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