his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
