You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize