I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You need a sexual gate keeper
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
