WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize