sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
