no, he came in my armpit
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
