Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
