she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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