Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
