Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
