The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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