Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
So here I am, sexting at work.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
