So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
