i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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