of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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