How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
