hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
