Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize