first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
