dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
