Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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