This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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