and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
