After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
