college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
