I think I died a long time ago.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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