I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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