Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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