I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
