I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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