I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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