I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
