Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
