yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
