You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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