shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
