I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
