physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
