the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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