My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
