so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
