There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
birth control should be required to get into college
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
