There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
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